Thump, Thump, Thump.
What is thumping? We live on the 3rd floor of a 3 flat in Chicago and I’m home alone. What could possibly be thumping on our back porch. No one comes up that way. The door is locked. I am safe.
Thump, Thump, Thump.
What is thumping? There are windows to look out onto the porch. I see nothing. No one is standing on the porch. No one is knocking on the door. I am safe. No one is there.
Thump, Thump, Thump.
What is thumping? Now I am worried. I have checked a few times and nothing is there. Has someone gone up to the attic? Are they waiting for me to open the door? What is making that sound? I cautiously open the door and step out onto the back porch. EEEKKKK. Something flew at my head.
Thump, Thump, Thump.
Then it is SILENT. My heart starts racing. What do I do now? How do I get that big, fat pigeon off of my porch? How did it even get in here? I slowly walk over to the windows and pull them down. The screen is at the bottom, so I pull them down from the top to allow the damn bird to fly out. Of course a few stick because they are 100 years old.
The bird takes flight again, but only tries to fly out the windows that are still closed. Dumb bird. Think, think, think. It is hard to think as the bird is thump, thump, thumping on the windows. He doesn’t realize some are open. He needs to have it clearly marked. Back inside I go. Where are the newspapers? Where is the tape? If I tape newspapers to the windows that are closed, will the bird go out the open windows then?
Cautiously and quickly I tape the newspapers to the windows. Please, please, please don’t fly into my head or peck at me. There, done. All the windows are covered except the ones open. Fly bird, fly. He sits there looking at me. I think he is afraid of me and everything I’ve done. I step back inside to watch from the window. Maybe the bird is just freaked out and injured from hitting the windows so many times.
Fly bird, fly. You can’t stay on my porch. Please go. Take the open window and go.
And then he does. He flies out the open, unmarked window to freedom. I leave the paper on the windows just in case he comes back.