Have you ever wanted something, and yet the idea of having that something is terrifying? Today this idea was at the forefront of my thoughts. I want to be there, yet am terrified of what that means. I feel ready yet know that no matter how much I prepare I will never be ready. I am not worthy of the honor yet want someone to say that I am.
As I struggle with my own self-confidence I continually watch Facebook. Many of my friends are there enjoying themselves, learning, training, being part of the “family.” I am here living through pics and status updates….waiting….waiting…waiting….
For that day that someone else says I am worthy to attend.
For that letter to arrive in the mail saying I need to be there too.
For that moment when I finally feel that my skills are good enough to join them.
But then the waiting is just part of the journey as well.
Until then I will be here, sharpening my skills, teaching my students, growing my studio, and working on myself both inside and out. So that when the day comes that I get my invitation to Master’s Camp, I will feel worthy or ready or honored or scared out of my mind or a combination of all of these and much more.
But until then I will be waiting….and learning….and sharpening…..and growing….and waiting…..