Last Year, This Year

Last Year:  I went to school to teach all day.

This Year:  I get to take my kids to school every day.

Last Year:  I hung out with teachers and students, smiling and laughing, learning and growing.

This Year:  I hang out with my husband, laughing and smiling, working and growing.

Last Year: I went from teaching reading, writing, and math to teaching martial arts and self-control.

This Year: I teach my kids how to be better people and still teach martial arts and self-control.

Last Year:  I lived in a different house, filled with memories, familiar creaks, and known issues.

This Year:  I live in a rental, furiously finishing the “House of Horrors” that we purchased last October.

Last Year: Things were certain.  I knew my place in the world.  I understood what was happening around me.

This Year:  Family is certain.  Rentals are temporary.  I am in control of what is happening around me.

This Year has brought many changes to my life.  I took a much needed leave of absence to take control of my home life.  I am back to actively working on my relationship with my husband, rather than short, “let’s catch up” conversations.  I am planning rather than reacting, thinking rather than doing, seizing moments rather than watching them through someone else’s eyes.  I am more centered, more thoughtful, more the person I am suppose to be instead of the person I have been.  I look forward to each day, instead of just trying to get through each day.  I sit here and realize just how deep I was drowning, how heavy the weight on my shoulders was.  Now the weight is lifted (not gone), I am treading water, and the shore is in sight.  Projects are getting finished, time is mine again, and I can make each day my own.  I haven’t written reflectively since last March, but plan to continue.  I have all these plans that, last year, I would never have even verbalized.  This year, I can put pen to paper, and turn plans into actions.  I can breathe in the fresh air, walk my dogs, laugh with my kids, and finally find peace in my awesomely busy life (at least in this moment anyway).

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3 thoughts on “Last Year, This Year

  1. Sue, you captured so beautifully here what I long for in my heart. These lines are my favorite: I am planning rather than reacting, thinking rather than doing, seizing moments rather than watching them through someone else’s eyes.

    I am so happy that you have this opportunity to be with your family, work on your house, love your husband… so happy for you and so, so jealous.

    Loving the renovation pics on FB, too. It’s looking good!

  2. Treading water and the shore is in sight—- I love this line! So glad that you are on this path and look forward to hearing more.You’re already making me sit and think about my whirlwind of a life right now in this moment.

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